Free Write - My baby brother

If you were to ever make the acquaintance of my brother Spencer, you would immediately think that he has was a quiet, down-to-earth boy with no major problems in his life. However, upon further discussion and interaction you would soon realize that he is, most likely, afflicted with Tourette syndrome and, perhaps, mild-insanity.

Ever since he was about 8 years old, he has had a unique affinity with the vulgar and bizarre sides of our language. Upon meeting my friends and getting to know them fairly well, he would begin to suggest undertaking odd excursions such as getting some Hum-Vees (Hummer trucks) and running over people's scrotums. How he was going to acquire these trucks and how he would avoid killing these poor men while still running over their scrotums was beyond him, but nevertheless he felt this would be an exciting, worthwhile activity.

When Christmas came around and all of us would begin writing our lists for Santa, Spencer would refuse. When I asked him what he would like, he answered, "An ant so I can piss on it, so I can call it a piss ant." Christmas has come and gone several times since then and he still hasn't received any ants - lucky for us and the ants. His colorful language and expressions carried with him through the years. As he began playing video games he would begin complaining about the cost of certain essential items at stores in his video games. As I walked into the house with some friends he began yelling, "$20 for a G-D stick!" Apparently his character needed a stick and this was way out of his price range.

When Spencer got into middle school I began inquiring about his days and how he spent his time. His first response to this question was, "I pooped on the rug and smeared it with my buttocks." However, he didn't say buttocks like you or I would say it. He pronounced buttocks beau-ttocks, as in the pronunciation of beauty. To this day if I ask him what he did that day he will still give me the same answer.